Happiness

When I think of my life I don't often think of it as "happy" but I do try often to think on the many happy moments that I have been truly blessed with. The first that comes to mind is when I would spend a chunk of time in the summers during the mid-1980s at my then-best friend's family summer home in Forked River. They had a swing-set in the front yard (the backyard was a lagoon) and I would wake up, skip breakfast, lunch, dinner and anything that would interfere with my time on the swings. I mean I would spend the entire day on the swing, staring at a small white house and listening to the metal squeak of the set as I went back and forth, back and forth, like the world's most unique metronome. I went so long without eating that when, probably on day three, I asked my friend's mother, "Tish, can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" She screamed so everyone on the block could hear, "Jesus Christ! She's finally hungry!" I think I was so dedicated to my time on the swing-set because I knew it would be short lived.

This memory inevitably brings to mind when, finally, my parents bought us our own swing-set several years later. I would come home from school, bring my portable tape deck out back and swing until I was forced to come in for dinner. I always listened to the same two cassettes - Janet Jackson Control and Genesis Invisible Touch. To this day I still remember all the notes and words to every song on each album because I listened to them endlessly.

In my older years I was happiest at my café job when I would get to take smoke breaks with co-workers or friends who stopped in to visit, and even some of the wonderful customers. It was the only time in my life I ever felt like the "cool kid" because after a year of working there I became the favourite barista; the girl that made the best coffee drinks in the universe. (My specialty was an iced caramel mocha and no one could surpass my skills at making the perfect foam for the perfect cappuccino.) It was at this café that I worked with some of the most extraordinarily kind, warm, and beautiful people ever to cross the earth.

Other moments are the many times where I was sitting in cars with Marina eating. Usually pizza. Because of my social awkwardness we often ordered food, picked it up so as not to have to our conversation overheard or to be required to converse with the wait staff, and then sat in my car in a separate parking lot several miles away to gorge ourselves. We'd push the front seats back, layer our laps with napkins, put the pizza box up on the dash and dig in. All the while talking through the sides of our full mouths, making eachother laugh as only we two can do.

Lastly, I have a ton of fabulous memories of hanging out with my lil' brother watching Burt Reynolds movies or Father of the Bride, and especially Bringing Up Baby. We'd chill out and recite the lines before they were said, all while rubbing eachother's feetsies. So silly and simple but such fun. Even today I love just sitting on the sofa with Xavier, watching movies and just being together. He's one of my most favourite people ever.