I hate this saying when applied to mental health. "You're depressed now, but don't kill yourself - IT GETS BETTER!" Ugh. Insert eye-rolling emoji here. When someone says that things will get better, I always think quietly to myself, "not for me it hasn't." Every day I feel like I am living in a black hole. There's no light ahead, signaling of "the better", only more darkness with each aspect of my life feeling utterly hopeless all the time. Then yesterday I checked
It Gets Better?
To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: “it gets better”
Hi Frank,
Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if, among the sea of “it gets better” sentiments, there are people who acknowledge that sometimes it doesn’t? My failed attempt was 29 years ago and it has not in fact gotten better. I tried so hard for such a long time to get better and be happy, but every year that passes leaves me more and more hopeless. But I’ve never seen anyone express this sentiment.
Everyone insists sunshine and rainbows and self-actualization are all just around the bend. I never express my hopeless sentiment because I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s happiness. Are the others like me just doing what I’m doing, keeping quiet so as not to burden anyone else? Or am I the only one?
I feel like the only one.
I’m so lonely and hopeless and exhausted and I would love to know if there are people out there who also know that “it gets better” isn’t always true.
~~~
From: Frank Warren <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: Re: “it gets better”
I do get some of those secrets, I will try to post a few more.
In the meantime, I’ll share your message on social media tomorrow. We can watch the responses you get.
Thanks for your message.
Cheers,
-Frank
~~~
“Finally! Someone telling it like it really is. Thank you brave person! Sending you love.”
“Oh man… You are so not alone. I wish I had something profound to say.”
“Hi there, not alone. Thank you for putting what I feel into words.”
“You’re definitely not alone on this one. I’ve been trying to survive one day at a time for more than a decade.”
“Can I just give you all a hug and let you know you are seen? And I hope you choose to stay?”
“I felt this in my soul.”
~~~
To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: “it gets better”
What an incredible gift you’ve given me. You could have replied with a simple answer (which I also would have appreciated so much), but instead you gave me a front-row seat to witness the answer unfold in real time. You simultaneously showed me the view from your huge platform while also shielding me with the safety of anonymity.
I’ve read every single comment and am floored at how many others are out there feeling the same as me. For so long I’ve felt so insubstantial, like I could fall in the water and not make a single ripple. This experience made me feel like a real human person who is allowed to feel actual connection to other humans. I don’t have the words for how grateful I am.
Thank you so much for giving me the experience of hundreds of messages in bottles washing up on my shore.
~~~
“Sometimes ‘it doesn’t get worse’ is ok too.”
“I found ‘just take another breath’ more useful than ‘it gets better’.” And I did…
“It hasn’t gotten better for me. I’m in pain every single day. It never ends. But sometimes I find a cool book to read or a game to play, and I’ll want to find out what happens next. So I’m still here.”
“My moto is ‘oh no, it’s tomorrow again’. So you’re definitely not the odd one out.”
~~~
From: Frank Warren <frank@postsecret.com>
Subject: Re: “it gets better”
PostSecret has shared a secret with me, over and over – no one is alone with their secret.
Your post was seen by over a million people and I know many of them found solace discovering that they were not alone with their secret.
Thanks for being brave enough to speak our story.
Be well,
-Frank
May the universe bless Heather Moore with all green lights, coupons for a free beverage at their favourite café, cool breezes on hot days, warm hugs on cold ones, never finding hair in their food, a life free from stubbed toes and brain freezes, and an incredible sense of peace and great self-worth, all for that beautiful statement.
