Things I Learned About Colombia

~The 80s are back and in full swing. It was not unusual to see bold coloured Ray Bans paired with Heavy Metal t-shirts and mullets or worse yet, tails. Do you remember when boys would have super short hair and then a tail? Ew. And we saw one kid with a braided tail. Ugh. I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
~White people are extremely rare and often stared at as though they were encaged at a local zoo. I mean blatantly stared at; to the point where I turned to one person and in my bitchiest Philly girl tone said, "¿¿Qué??" I really wanted to say, "What the fuck is your fucking problem, asshole?" But I decided against it in the end.
~When using the toilet, paper goes in the bin and is not to be flushed. This I already knew from when Marina lived in Costa Rica. It sounds totally gross, since that's not what we do in the States, but in reality, it's no big deal.
~The coffee is sensational. I was a barista for over four and a half years and I made damn good coffee. However, I never drink the stuff and I just can't stand it. Coffee smells heavenly but tastes so bitter. Bleck! But, I was in Colombia, so I had to try it again. To sum up - it's phenomenal. I mean, true, I added a lot of milk and sugar and technically it was probably more like a cup of sugar with a little bit of coffee, but whatever.
~Colombians are really proud of their country. On the flight in, I was one of the few whites and so people would ask me why I was visiting Armenia and then immediately gave me a list of Must-See places. Most popular phrase after hearing I'd never been to Colombia, "Yer gonna love it - you are going to love it!" And I so did.
~Stop signs are largely suggestive. They hardly even slow down. Oh, and seat belts? Practically nonexistent.
~Speeding in a taxi through the city, it would not be unusual to see many motorcycles with a man at the helm, a woman behind him and in her arms an infant. Very scary.
~People are late. Like, they are late a lot. CPT = Colombian People Time.
~Fake breasts are everywhere. Outrageously enormous fake breasts. These gals can't afford to buy cat food but damn if they aren't gonna go get some breasts that, could they lactate, would feed a continent. These things were so crazy huge that I kinda thought, "I may have the chest of a thirteen year old boy, but at least I can walk upright." Jesus wept.
~Colombians are very concerned about pregnant women, women with infants, babies and the elderly. It was completely endearing to see young men give up their seats or compliment Mateo and especially to see people grant blessings to our little guy.