Thursday, September 17, 2020

Letter from Jax

On Sunday Jackson and I filled out some letters at the table and I made him write one to me. It came in last night's mail and was just what I needed. Things at my job are changing according to "the business needs" and there's very little communication. Usually it's just a rug being pulled out and a pie full of anxiety right in the face. I'm in a constant feeling of stress and strain, as change and the unknown are really difficult for me. Some people love to go with the flow and thrive in an ever-changing environment. That's just not me. I get paranoid and begin to think that the changes are stemming from hatred and dislike and that management is out to get me. (There are a lot of cliques and mean girls at the office so this isn't unfounded.) I'm sure they don't even think about me but it's still reaching my breaking point and I'm spiraling into "what's the point - nothing goes my way - I'm stuck - I'm alone - it's been forever and nothing is getting better in any area..." At least when work was okay I could suck it up and move forward, but now it's like there is zero good in my life. Nothing to look forward to anymore. This letter really helped.


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