When Marina, Mateo and I were at Storybook Land last weekend I saw this little six year old girl in a dress that had a huge print of the Eiffel Tower on it. Clearly this was a super cute pre-Halloween costume and she was the Tower itself. While pushing Teo's coach I said to her, "Oh my gosh, I love what you're wearing! So cool!" What I received in response was thee snottiest stink eye of all time. She shot me a dirty look like I just ate her pet hamster. I was so incredibly pissed off and annoyed. Like, how does someone complimenting you warrant a nasty look with a matching sneer? Without thinking, I just said with vengeance, "Well, fuck you then. Ya stuck up little bitch." Marina immediately scolded me, but that only fueled my fire.
Later that night I got to thinking, "do I really want to become the person that curses out a six year old?" I don't. I still fully believe that she needed to be put in her place and I think I should be commended for not saying what I really wanted which was, "Where's your mother so I can push her fuckin' teeth in and make you watch?" I wanted this kid to suffer for the indignation she placed upon me. Moving on, I decided that I'm becoming far too angry and bitter and I need to nip this shit in the bud. I scanned my bookshelves and pulled out the Dalai Lama's book The Essence of Happiness. This passage jumped out at me:
If you harbor hateful thoughts or intense anger deep within yourself, it ruins your health; thus it destroys one of the factors conventionally considered necessary for a happy life.
I'm going to try like hell to focus on the good and steer away from thoughts of anger or hostility. It won't be easy, but I'm certain that it will be worth it. (Hey, maybe that little beyotch will be a better person in the future because of what I said. Probably not, though.)
You do realize that the Buddha sometimes looks like a six year old girl in an Eiffel Tower shirt giving you the stink eye, right?
ReplyDeleteHe is also that person in a car that just cut you off. My immediate instinct is to curse them out too but then, if I was a gooder person, I would tell the nasty driver and the stink eye girl "Thank you" because it's actually the Buddha in disguise giving you an opportunity to react positively. While you MAY have cursed her out initially, it looks like Buddha's test actually succeeded with you because started you thinking and looking for the Dalai Lama's book. As always, you ROCK, m'dear!!!
Thank you so much for this! I really do need to recognise that I need to stop and respond to things in a positive way and not have the knee-jerk angry response all the time. Buddha's gotta give me some time tho!
ReplyDeleteI know . . . I have had the proper response ... oh, I'd say once in ten years. Every other time, it's the curse from me! When it comes to angry and bitter, I've got you beat by a Kentucky mile. But your post has gotten me thinking about trying to do better from now on and for that, you deserve the thanks.
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