Shadowboxing

Happiness is not something that happens to you, it's something you have to create. My life today is not vastly different from my life five years ago. I am not suddenly in an ideal romantic relationship, I did not awake one morning to have the perfect job, a beautiful face, a kick ass figure or complete financial security. The reason I am now happy in my life versus five years ago, is because I woke up one morning and decided to choose to be happy. My job is decent, I can pay my bills, I'm alright looking, I'm working towards a kick ass bod, and if I remain single, so be it. The difference is that I made a sincere change in my focus to not be that girl that I was for all those years; the one who wore a sour puss on her face and felt doom and gloom all the time. Frankly, it was exhausting. Now I'm fuckin' sunshine and roses over here because that is who I want to be and who I want to feel like. Sure, there are horrible days where I find myself facing suicidal thoughts, but those moments dissipate as quickly as they appeared because I am no longer allowing myself to be enslaved and encaged by my despair. I am no longer fighting myself and holding myself back from all the remarkable things that life has to offer. I'm throwin' down the gloves, climbin' out the ring and living this life because it's pretty fuckin' fantastic and I'm not ready for it to end.